The Moose Method
Moose
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Posts by Moose
The Day the Penis Asked for a Raise
Jan 14th
The Day the Penis Asked for a Raise
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge headfirst into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely, P. Niss
The Response
Dear Penis: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration re jects your request for the following reasons: You do More >
How to Please a Women
Nov 1st
How to please a woman:
Love her
Die for her
Take her to dinner
Miss the game for her
Buy her Jewerly
Be interested in
what she has to say..
How to please a man:
Show up naked.
Bring a beer
Men Are Just Happier People
Oct 25th
NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains.
EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come More >
Be Each Others Best Friend
Oct 9th
One of the many ways women express themselves is by verbal communication, they do this much more then men do. In other words, “they talk too much” according to most men. Some believe that women (including my self) that language was revolutionized by women. While the men were out hunting, the females of the village sat around the fire preparing meals, clothing and creating other vital survival items. Its nearly impossible that after months, a conversation would not be started, thus language was created. Now for the hunters (any true hunter knows this), silence is key and using gesture for More >
How TO Make a Woman Happy
Oct 3rd
It’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21 an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny More >
Rules That Men Wished Women Knew
Oct 1st
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up, put it down. 3. Don’t cut your hair. Ever. 4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present! 5. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. 6. Sometimes, he’s not thinking about you. Live with it. 7. Don’t ask him what he’s thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, More >
Stand Up To Her and Say NO!
Aug 24th
It’s perfectly OK to tell her no, as a matter of fact she wants you to tell her no. Learn these words NO!!! Now say it with me, “NOOOOOO!” “No Means No” or “I say No No No” See how good that feels? One more time “I say No No No” Learn to say NO to others as well, it doesn’t have to be with your women. From time to time, you should tell your boss NO when you disagree with certain things, specially if your in a management position. Remember you were hired to be a manager to make decisions and stand your ground. When More >
My boyfriend is being cheap?
Aug 14th
I honestly hope that is not the future of this country. This is a classic example of that movie idiocracy. Some females have a tendency to think that looks is all takes to be high maintenance. When were out in the bar seen picking up women, we stayed away from the dumb ones because it’s hard to grab their attention do to the lack of attention span. Also know, that generally men who have made a decent wealth for themselves are pretty intelligent and want a parter in their life who is also intelligent. Looks are fine, but they fade with age. More >
Should I be happy if someone I dated in 07 text me and said they went by my work and thought of me?
Aug 14th
I really loved him but it was a bad time in my life and I still miss him. He said he hoped all was well and remembered an over a year ago conversation when I said I felt he forgot me so he also put see I didn’t forget you? I said I thought of him one night when I was by his house where he replied what you didn’t stop by! Haha so the haha threw me off!
Moose Best Answer – Chosen by Voters
Sure, it sounds that you actually care about this person and he probably wants to More >
